Freedom is not addition — it is mastery over desire

We often say: “I want more.” More income. More followers. More comfort. More ease. But what we rarely admit is this: if we cannot resist the pull of any desire in us, then we are not free — we are owned by what we desire.

True freedom is not about piling on more things, more choices, more options. It is about mastering desire so that it doesn’t own you. It’s not adding freedom, but clearing away the chains.

In this post, we’ll unpack that paradox, see why desire so easily becomes our jailer, and outline a practical framework for reclaiming mastery over what we want so that we can walk in sovereign freedom.

1. The paradox: wanting freedom, yet being captive

The illusion of “more = freedom”

We live in an age of abundance. We’re taught that freedom is having more: more time, more income, more impact. But added capacity doesn’t liberate us if every added capacity just becomes another lever for consumption, craving, and dissatisfaction.

In fact, the history of philosophy is littered with warnings that freedom isn’t about fulfilling more desires but about rising above them. As Epictetus put it:

“Freedom is secured not by the fulfilling of men’s desires, but by the removal of desire.”

In other words, the less your soul chases after, the less can chase you.

Desire as internal captor

When a desire is weak, we can indulge or deny it without much drama. But when a desire grows strong — thirst, craving, envy, lust, ambition — it can become a tyrant. It presses on you, distracts you, demands satisfaction. If you always yield, the next iteration will demand more.

You end up being reactive: beholden to cravings, impulses, and the next “must-have.” That is not self-rule. That is being under siege by your own interior world.

Philosophers distinguish between first‑order desires (I want X) and higher‑order desires (I want to want X or not to want X). True agency arises when you can take a stance on your desires. You may have the desire; but you need not be driven by it.

In short: what you cannot resist owns you.

2. Why desire so easily becomes slavery

Let’s understand the mechanics of how desire hijacks us.

(a) Mimetic desire — we copy what others want

René Girard’s mimetic theory proposes that we often don’t independently decide what we want — we imitate what others value. We see someone desire a car, or a lifestyle, or a brand, and unconsciously borrow that desire.

When your wants are borrowed, you rarely feel anchored to them — they can shift, intensify, or vanish at the model’s whim. And because they feel external, they push on you from outside your sovereignty.

(b) Hedonic treadmill and adaptation

Even when a desire is “ours,” achieving its object often yields only transient satisfaction. Today’s “big win” becomes tomorrow’s baseline. The brain adjusts. New cravings arise. The cycle never ends. This is the paradox of the treadmill: more keeps chasing more—but you’re never free.

(c) Internal conflict and fragmentation

Your deeper self might value growth, meaning, or integrity; your surface self is pulled by impulses, comfort, status. When you act on impulse, part of you rebels. That internal conflict drains energy, fragments your identity, and weakens your capacity for lasting self-rule.

(d) The will left untrained

If you’ve never disciplined your will, the strong desires rule by default. Think of a wilderness in which wild plants overrun any attempt at a garden. The untamed will yields to the most aggressive internal plant. Self-mastery demands pruning.

3. What true freedom looks like

Freedom is not absence of desire. Trying to crush all wanting often leads to repression or inner emptiness. Instead, freedom is the capacity to stand over your desires: to see them, evaluate them, decide which ones lead you, and which ones lead you astray.

Here are hallmarks of a mastery‑oriented freedom:

  • You choose your desire — you don’t always suppress it, but you decide which desires deserve energy.

  • You don’t yield impulsively — you can delay or deny what doesn’t align.

  • You live from your core, not your cravings — your long‑term purpose governs your daily wants.

  • You are not shaken when a desire fails — you don’t collapse in disappointment or spiral when a goal eludes you.

  • You conserve your inner focus — you avoid the thicket of chasing every spark of wanting.

Freedom is neither denial nor indulgence — it is sovereignty.

4. A 5‑step framework to mastering your desire

Here’s a practical method to cultivate freedom in your inner life. You can use this as a daily practice to strengthen your centring point and resist being owned by what you cannot resist.

Step 1: Awareness & naming

First, bring your desires out of shadow. Don’t be naïve or in denial. Name them, feel them. Write them down. This step detaches the unconscious momentum.

Step 2: Ask the heirloom question

For every desire that tugs: “If I satisfy this, what does it commit me to long term?”
Many desires bury follow‑on obligations you don’t see. The heirloom question helps spot hidden costs.

Step 3: Distance & delay

Build friction. Delay action by 10, 30, or 60 minutes. Let the impulse pass. Often the emotion declines. In the gap, consult your highest self rather than the moment.

Step 4: Align with your True North

When evaluating whether to yield, ask: “Does this move me toward my highest vision (legacy, mission, purpose) or distract me from it?”
If it doesn’t help, say no.

Step 5: Refine recurring desires

Some desires are worthy: creative expression, love, mastery. But over time, refine them. Ask: “Which of my longings are truly mine, and which are borrowed or blind hunger?”
Curate your desires until your inner landscape is lean, meaningful, and strong.

Over time, you build what Buddhists call nonattachment — not indifference, but freedom to relate without being bound. 
You still care. You still feel. But you are no longer coerced.

5. Real-world examples: how this shows up for creators, coaches, solopreneurs

Because IMMachines serves creators, consultants, coaches — people building authority — this issue is central to your path.

(a) The temptation of vanity metrics

You launch a campaign; the likes and shares surge. The desire for more becomes addictive. If your identity depends on those numbers, then you lose freedom: every post must perform or you feel crushed. Instead: detach self-worth from metrics. Use numbers as feedback — not validation.

(b) The false lure of the next pivot

The “shiny object syndrome” is desire disguised. You see someone monetise in a new niche, and your desire to replicate it becomes oppressive. But do you truly align with that niche? Or are you chasing their reward? Use the heirloom question.

(c) The dependency on external influence

You promote, network, partner — which is fine. But if your confidence or advancement depends entirely on external players, you’re tethered. Anchor strength from your mission and consistent content, not from validation alone.

(d) Creative burnout from overcommitment

You say yes to every idea, course, collaboration. Your impulses rule. That means you scatter energy, lose focus, get exhausted. Instead, choose a few high‑leverage missions that align with your deep self and let the rest go.

(e) Personal life imbalance

Your deeper self may value rest, relationships, health. But surface desire drags you into overwork, isolation, performance stress. When desire rules you, life fragments. Freedom is aligning inner values with outer work.

6. Obstacles & how to overcome them

  • Fear of emptiness — you might fear that resisting desires leaves a hollow void. But over time that void fills with clarity, purpose, and aligned longing.

  • Relapse — you will fall back. That’s fine. Self‑mastery is gradual. Reset, recommit. Each stumble is training ground.

  • Cultural temptation — the world encourages more wants: ads, social media, comparison. You must build guardrails: media fasts, accountability, inner criteria.

  • Loneliness at the threshold — when you detach from mass desires, few will join. That’s the cost of sovereignty. Yet the true tribe will gravitate to authenticity.

7. Invitation: begin your freedom practice today

You are invited to try one micro‑experiment:

  1. Pick one desire today (e.g. to check social media, chase a new tool, get approval).

  2. Delay it by 30 minutes. While waiting, journal: Why do I want this? If I get it, then what?

  3. After 30 minutes, return and re‑evaluate: do I still want it? Why? Act or abstain consciously.

  4. At end of day, reflect: Where did I act from impulse? Where did I act from presence?

Repeat daily. Over months, your inner space changes. The louder whims quiet. Your core self speaks more clearly.

When you master your desires, life becomes lighter, sharper, more directed. You are no longer a puppet but the author — free, chosen, self‑ruled.

8. Closing & call to reflection

You were born to be free — free within, free to create, free to become. But if you never master what tugs at your soul, you remain captive to your own inner world. The chains are subtle — a craving here, an impulse there — but they sum to tyranny.

The path to freedom is not what you acquire, but how you respond. Not which desires you entertain, but which you end up obeying.

Will you begin today? Will you commit to knowing your desires, delaying them, choosing them, refining them? In that pursuit, you will shift from being owned by what you cannot resist — to becoming sovereign over your interior world. That is the core freedom.