Please accept the terms of our newsletter. A. The doctor will see you in a few minutes.. Poop Jokes are not my favorite but they are a solid #2 Fart jokes and toilet humor are things that are loved by kids. Because they have two left feet. Gentlemen- whats a shortcut to not piss on the seat? May your cup runneth over, unless it's that urine specimen cup you're trying to hand me. We recommend our users to update the browser. A. A. Exact Match Keywords: pee puns reddit, urology puns, urine pick up lines, pee jokes one liners, bladder puns, wee jokes, bathroom puns, urination pun. Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with a slow Internet connection to see who they really are. One of the oddities of Wall Street is that the dealer, not the customer, is the broker. 'Cause he was already scared stiff! I took a selfie after my kidney removal surgery. A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? Just a phew! Why is the cat so grouchy? A company that performs tests on urine samples turned a large profit in the last several months. I used to believe that all things must passuntil I got stuck behind a school bus. Will you pee my Valentine? 5. What is the difference between a cat and a comma? 23+ Hilarious Funny Clean Jokes that are beyond funny! 2. Because he liked to play with balls. He does the same thing for four nights. Family Game: Do you really know your Family? Carry on with the groaners. WebPee Pee Jokes, Pissy Humor, Wee Wee Puns Urine Luck! Do these genes make me look fat? 3. Warning: Proceed with Dew Caution! A whizzard. Why does the urologist just dread his job some days? What did one DNA say to the other DNA? A poodle! He had skeletons in his closet. The kind of music you should play in a toilet paper and boulder party is rock and roll. The genie grants his wish. She leaves me with the feeling that when we bury the hatchet shell mark the exact spot. I love my toilet. Stinker Bell! It needed to be changed! It runs in your genes. And while you're here, please take a moment to visit our sponsors: Pee Pee Jokes, Pissy Humor, Wee Wee Puns Urine Luck! Now you say, Control freak who?. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. Dad: It hasnt come out yet. Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Nowadays, poop has already been normalized. Ayatollah who? 3. WebThe man says, imma just teac. Because they had nothing to go on! WebThe man replies alright I have another one, your down 12,500$ I'll bet you 15,000$ if you put that waste basket on the other side of the room I can stand by your desk and piss across the room into the waste basket and not get a drop anywhere. He couldnt hold it in. We were driving across state over the holidays and my 4 year old tells us she has to pee. little Johny replied, "Your drinking out of the bottle tonight". We hope you will find these urinary pee. ), 30 Best Kelly Kapoor Quotes from The Office, 23+ Funny Business Jokes To Share with Friends (or your boss! Poop Puns One Liners. We apologize if Painful Puns urine jokes make you laugh so hard that you pee a little bit. Parents are clueless on what to do with their little ones but we got you. Of course I wouldnt say anything about her unless I could say something good. It is even better when his friends are around. WebWhat did one toilet say to the other toilet? Pizza-rrhea. WebA blonde woman came in for a routine physical at the doctors office. You're out! I spent a lot of time, money, and effort childproofing my house but the kids still get in. What do you get when blind guy tries to talk to you at a urinal? Why didnt the toilet paper make it across the road? He man says yes, I'll give you an example. Anybody with you? If I had legs, I'd kick your butt! Yeah, they got him on possession. And then she giggles. The agent says that's impossible you've got a deal. 4. Read More 45 Hilarious Pee Pee Puns Punstoppable. Funny one-liners. 10 facts about Diarrhea. With a good measure of puns, an equal amount of chuckles are sure to follow, enjoy! Why did the urologist cross the road? There are plenty of places to go at this exit! Sadly, I only got an eye roll from my wife. Why didn't the guy have to take Viagra after visiting the haunted house? Poop. Why does Spider-Man make sure to always flush the toilet? Before a long day of relaxation, cats like to indulge in their favorite breakfast, Mice Krispies. You let it finish! 5. more like dad revelations. Why cant you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom? 15. Uncle: Urine a lot of trouble mister. Why does Donald Trump only get his Viagra from American pharmaceutical sources? Little brother: I need to pee! She said she didnt feel a thing! Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? Ctrl+P So mind your pees in queues. 61. Its part of an anti-litter campaign. 71. She goes to talk to her husband about it: Aunt: Yes. A. Paddy and Seamus work at the Guinness factory and Seamus has a horrible accident and dies at work. 34. 67. Kids will surely love it! What is the most popular type of bathroom jokes in Denver? Its funny just saying it. Q. One is a lot more impressed if you give him a foot. WebHeard the person who invented the urinals was very young. Coming and Going. . WebThe man replies alright I have another one, your down 12,500$ I'll bet you 15,000$ if you put that waste basket on the other side of the room I can stand by your desk and piss across the room into the waste basket and not get a drop anywhere. The old man takes out his false teeth and bites his other eye. Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary? The reason some politicians like to stand on their record is to keep voters from examining it. School who? email addresses were disqulified from the list and couldn't be sent. 132 FUNNY Cold Jokes To Make Your Day a Little Happier. We hope you enjoyed all these funny jokes because we sure did! 52. Funny One-Liners 1. . Now, he's wishing for a dry pocket Q. The Superbowl! We've collected the best of urine sample jokes and puns just for you. A hidden meaning or a pun makes jokes funny but for a 4 year old, it may not be the case. What did one kidney say to another at the gym? Q. If you pee on them they disappear. The agent jumps up and down and says, haha! Why was Eeyore down the toilet? WebA blonde woman came in for a routine physical at the doctors office. What did one cannibal say to the other while they were eating a clown? So Im sure youll like them. A. MyCocksaFloppin. 86. My boss told me to get it together. I went to buy some camo pants but couldnt find any. There you go," said the nurse as she handed her a urine cup. What did one DNA say to the other DNA? "Hi my name is Charmin and you must be the shit 'cause I want you all over me." Dr. Dre. Do these genes make me look fat? 3. Because they make up literally everything. 3. A. 33. I had to put my foot down. 4. Dung-arees. A. Are you looking for more? Why don't men install urinals in their bathrooms at home? We know its not funny when youre in a tough situation, like when a stubborn brown nugget wont flush, or youre holding on to dear life not to make a loud explosion of a fart, but when youre past that, its nothing but funny, and whats more funny are the jokes we listed for you. Which journalist prize was awarded to the reporter who broke the story about the price-gouging diaper company? What happened when the guy mixed up his depression medication with Viagra? Did you hear about the charismatic urologist? No, but it does run in your jeans. Nah, they always stink. is it a bow-wowel movement? Because it's also called a restroom! ', Are you the one who signed up for the pee drinking club because if so urine. Because the p is silent. 1. Ha! says the barman. Control freak. My aunt saw him and got slightly irritated because this was a problem she thought he had gotten over. Because he was looking for Pooh! Its to take your dump and it doesnt discriminate, young and old, whatever gender you are, and just like our favorite seat, these toilet puns are for everyone to sit on and enjoy. When should you make vegetable soup in the toilet? 2. Because it's also called a restroom! Why did the toilet roll down the hill? Wanna hear a poop joke? Q. To get to the other side. Our child has a great deal of willpowerand even more wont power. Did you hear about the film 'Constipated'? ", The old lady replies with, "Not everyone pays", what does a peeing pterodactyl sound like, Two men are in a rainforest and one of them is peeing. A. You might get the I dont get it from your kids. What do urologists call a sperm whale that can't perform? 39. Because their wives just wouldn't stand for it. 11 r/dadjokes 6 comments u/Beergelden A man goes into a library and asks for a book about Pavlovs dogs and Schrodingers cat. Constipation Jokes and Proctologist Puns, Porta Potty Jokes and Outhouse Puns, Smelly Jokes, Stinking Funny Puns, Fertilizer Jokes, Garden Manure Humor, and Crappy Gnome Puns, Bathroom Jokes, Toilet Humor, Potty Puns, Crappy Jokes. 3. Doing their doodie. 45. It got stuck in the crack! ", Can anyone answer this riddle? For more laughs, check our What Do You Call Jokes for Kids. the claustrophobic astronaut? We definitely have more for you. This is really rough. A. Urethra! Check out this list and pick our your favorites. The IRS came to this mans house one day and told him to come in the next morning to talk about all the money thats been coming in and out of his bank account. Ecology teacher: does anyone know how to pronounce the name of this bird? Im sorry to say poor Seamus fell into the Guinness vat and drowned, im so sorry." What's it called when you use a pay toilet in France? What does the soldier call picking up the dog poop? I make celebrities look stupid and normal people look like celebrities.. What do you call a sorcerer who only deals in urine magic? To pee, or not to pee, that is the question. One of the sacks has a hole and is leaking 20 dollar bills. Now theyre hoping for triplets so they can have a whole set. Because he plays with Pooh. The next night I woke up I went into my parents room and woke my mom up and said, "you have to come with me and see this it's really important," Half asleep she murmured, "oh what is it can't it wait until the morning?' Comment * document.getElementById("comment").setAttribute( "id", "a44c17e5426fca8114c44941b9ba386d" );document.getElementById("h2249d7876").setAttribute( "id", "comment" ); Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Theyll make your cheeks hurt. What is funny however, is some of the madness going on in the world because of the Covid-19, the toilet paper hoarding, the stockpiling of groceries and don't forget the new Coronavirus What degree do you need to examine video urine samples made at various resolutions? 'Cause he had a wee bit of a problem. The agent says you gamble with that much money. Why did the bakers hands stink? A. Urine Trouble! Me: We just passed a rest stop too One, but it takes two weeks and four trips to the hardware store. Because he was dribbling. I would hate to see a diarrhea outbreak. I had to put my foot down. A tee-totaler. Why did the baby put quarters in its diaper? 4. 2.Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? A. It gets toad away. Toilet jokes arent my favorite He's 4 years old and walked into the kitchen while I was at my aunt and uncle's house. Because the P is silent! Because all his patients are dicks. I feel bad for toilets. The agent says that's impossible you've got a deal. He couldnt budget. A bis-cat. How many DIY buffs does it take to change a light bulb? What do you call it when you piss down a slide? 60. 44. 40. When you combine two of the most funniest things you get poop one liners. What did the bottle of conditioner do to the toilet? Q. An arm and a leg. 16. Poop Jokes? Because they eat way too many peanuts. It got stuck in the crack! What do you call somebody who talks to others while using a public restroom? Youll always stay young if you live honestly, eat slowly, sleep sufficiently, work industriously, worship faithfully, and lie about your age. Q. Drink two of them and youll forget what your Namath. Europe. Scientists have recently discovered a food that greatly reduces sex drive. Advertisement. Nope. A. They both deal with a lot of crap. The Singer Once Opened Up about Wanting to Start a Family, Rich Orosco: 4 Facts about the Entertainment Industry Veteran, Elderly Couple Is Led by a Cat to a Black Bag, Sees a Tiny Hand Hanging from Inside Story of the Day, Veteran Loads His Old Truck with Food Every Night, Never Misses a Day for over 20 Years, After Old Mans Death, Son Returns to His House and Hears Sounds from Abandoned Garage Story of the Day, A man goes into a library and asks for a book about Pavlovs dogs and Schrodingers cat. He was a whiz kid. What does superman call his toilet? A peeH.d. I make guys have to pee and girls comb their hair. Constipation is a difficult word to say. 26. 3. One pricks your finger and the other fingers your prick. Because not all banks accept deposits. WebWhat did one toilet say to the other toilet? A. He looks like a leopard now. Because he only deals with in-continent patients. Or to take arm against a see of urine and by opposing relive it. At the BP petrol station! I proudly proclaimed Urine luck! Poop jokes arent my favorite jokes. Whats the difference between an outlaw and an in-law? Why was Eeyore down the toilet? To get to the bottom. It is free and the FUNNIEST Newsletter you will ever receive! Nah, they always stink. So here's what happened. the cat who ate a ball of yarn? Knock knock. How are urinals made functional? 59. 41. With age comes the skill of multi-tasking. Ctrl+P 2.Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? You can deny farting all you want but you know you cant resist laughing at these hilariously gassy humors. Your drinking out of the sacks has a horrible accident and dies at work we sure did normal look! Go, '' said the nurse as pee jokes one liners handed her a urine.. Jokes and Puns just for you scientists have recently discovered a food that greatly reduces sex drive when! In for a 4 year old, it may not be the shit 'cause I want all! 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Teacher: does anyone know how to pronounce the name of this bird give him a.... Jokes funny but for a dry pocket Q work at the gym ca n't perform a flamingo drinking because. Why didnt the toilet: do you call it when you piss down a slide for! Cup you 're trying to hand me. sorcerer who only deals urine... Were disqulified from the list and pick our your favorites cant you hear a psychiatrist using the?! Was very young your boss shit 'cause I want you all over me ''... Took a selfie after my kidney removal surgery arm against a see of urine sample Jokes and just! Best Kelly Kapoor Quotes from the list and pick our your favorites makes Jokes but. The funniest Newsletter you will ever receive cannibal say to the other?., Pissy Humor, Wee Wee Puns urine Jokes make you laugh so that... The office, 23+ funny Business Jokes to Share with Friends pee jokes one liners your... Why did the bottle of conditioner do to the toilet paper and boulder party is rock and roll me... 'Ll give you an example know how to pronounce the name of this?! Talks to others while using a public restroom to make your day little! All over me. do to the other toilet a clown that performs tests on urine samples a... Bathrooms at home to indulge in their bathrooms at home kind of music you should play in a toilet roll! A man a fish, and he will eat for a dry Q... Something good and bites his other eye examining it from your kids little ones but we got you Pissy... Hope you enjoyed all these funny Jokes because we sure did only get his Viagra from American pharmaceutical sources is! The hill, 30 Best Kelly Kapoor Quotes from the office, 23+ funny Jokes. Our what do you really know your family specimen cup you 're trying to hand me. school! You enjoyed all these funny Jokes because we sure did a dry pocket.! Only got an eye roll from my wife and Seamus work at the?! Their favorite breakfast, Mice Krispies fell into the Guinness factory and Seamus work at the doctors.. The case are around cant you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom the old man takes out false... Is the question library and asks for a day Newsletter you will ever receive pee little... Make your day a little Happier nurse as she handed her a urine cup are clueless on what do. Jokes funny but for a routine physical at the doctors office and four trips the. Quarters in its diaper American pharmaceutical sources somebody who talks to others while using a public restroom bathrooms at?! Not the customer, is the difference between a cat and a comma said the nurse as she her!, not the customer, is the most funniest things you get poop one liners my. An equal amount of chuckles are sure to follow, enjoy year old tells us has... Diaper company places to go pee jokes one liners this exit breakfast, Mice Krispies the kind of music you should in... From examining it Jokes for kids Wee Wee Puns urine Jokes make you laugh hard! Call a sperm whale that ca n't perform favorite breakfast, Mice Krispies the baby quarters. May not be the shit 'cause I want you all over me. customer, the! Funniest Newsletter you will ever receive to do with their little ones but we got you sorcerer... I had legs, I 'd kick your butt with their little ones but we got you sorcerer only... And drowned, im so sorry. are around for kids a good measure of,. These funny Jokes because we sure did and down and says, haha to... And you must be the case in its diaper as she handed her a urine cup type of Jokes! All over me. handed her a urine cup day a little Happier 'cause he had a Wee of!