And once theyve calmed down (a toddler will often let out a deep sigh), then we can help them to make amends. As a mom thats new to Montessori, its so helpful to read about the philosophy and applying it at home! The role of the teacher, then, is to be a model and a guide while supporting the child as he develops to the point where he is able to choose to accept and to follow the rules of the classroom community. However, these behaviors are incredibly common particularly between 1.5-3 years old. The mission of the Montessori School is to provide for the development of each child's potential based upon Dr. Montessori's insights as to the nature of the child, the role of the adult, and the need for a prepared environment. For instance, if your child is hitting their sibling, you might stop them from playing together for a while and tell the child, I wont let you hurt your sibling.. Simplicity is key for young children, in just about every aspect of their lives. Either way, teaching your child that it is okay for them to step away from the situation and calm down before returning is key. By selecting choices ahead of time, youll feel comfortable knowing that whatever your child chooses is already approved and acceptable, helping avoid any battles. There are no specific rules when it comes to using discipline in a Montessori environment. Children should feel encouraged to explore the space and learn about how the freedom to explore requires responsibility. Help them develop a positive character and self-image by emphasizing their positive traits. Too often we discipline for the moment, hastily solving the present problem, but possibly creating future ones. Offering that freedom doesnt mean that you give in to their every impulse, rather that you give them a specific range of choices and respect their decisions. Our concern is with the development of the internal locus of control, which enables an individual to choose the right behavior because it is right for him or herself and right for the community. . Parenting courses and parent support networks are a wonderful way to create bridges between the classroom and family environments. Montessori discipline methods involve a calmer, quite level of intervention. If we shout to solve problems, they learn to shout to solve problems. It looks like you want to climb. While many might question the success of discipline without these tactics, once implemented, adults might be surprised by the response. Perhaps you create a specific area for your child to go to when they are overwhelmed, or you simply allow them time to process on their own. Montessori schools emphasize self-discovery. For instance, you can say I saw you kick your friend Tommy when he took your ball. 2780 MITCHELL DRIVE WALNUT CREEK CA 94598 Phone: (925) 944-0626 FAX: (925) 944-0678 www.springfieldmontessoriwc.com Ruby Red LLC is compensated for referring traffic and business to these companies. Rather than using a timeout, the Montessori Method encourages gluing in both the classroom and home. If your child calms down, give them another chance to play with the other kids. Inner discipline is something, which evolves. Encouraging a childs natural abilities will develop self-respect and respect for authority. Biting and Hitting It can be startling for parents to see children choosing aggressive behaviors. Discover your triggers and then do your best to avoid them in the future. Your email address will not be published. So the problem was solved: To obtain discipline, give freedom., Maria Montessori, Education for a New World. Visitors commonly issue such comments as, Ive heard Montessori is too free and chaotic or Ive heard Montessori is too structured. It does not seem possible that these two extreme opposites can both be true. It is on that foundation of freedom and structure that the child builds discipline. * Find alternatives to time out and help them become responsible humans It is important to understand the why to figure out the best way to handle toddler biting. Specialties: A premier Montessori School providing an excellent academic curriculum in West Covina and Walnut, California. In reality, Montessori falls in the middle of these two extremes. Control your own temper. Montessori discipline is likely going to feel a bit unnatural or challenging when youre just getting started, but with a little time and practice, youll find that both you and your child adapt quite well. The word discipline doesn't mean to punish. Typically, toddlers hit or bite, not because they are angry, but because they are trying to explore a physical impulse. It is inevitable that children are going to have meltdowns, fights or tantrums at some point. It has been shown that children thrive when they are faced with challenges that are just slightly outside of their current level of mastery. In reality, Montessori falls in the middle of these two extremes. Here are two helpful videos on a Montessori approach to discipline by Miss Donna from Aldea Montessori School. And if there are no limits, the child has license to do whatever they like without thinking of others or may have the feeling that no-one cares for them. Most of the time, they are unable to identify and verbalize what they are feeling. Preschool-aged children are generally in what the Montessori Method designates as the second level of obedience. Filed Under: Discipline, Montessori Techniques Tagged With: Discipline, gentle discipline, Montessori, Montessori Approach to Discipline. Joyful obedience is the stage at which a child has developed and internalized self-discipline where they are not only obeying orders but can truly understand the value of following guidance from figures of authority. Teachers and children act as mediators, coaching children in conflict through a process of expressing their feelings and finding a way to fix their mistakes. My top Ikea picks for Montessori children, My favourite Montessori colour activities . Montessori can only benefit children when it moves beyond philosophy and takes a practical application. They say prevention is better than cure. This is not blind obedience at all, but is a fully informed choice by a personality which has grown in freedom and developed to its fullest potential. If that's the definition of discipline, as Montessorians we want nothing to do with it! Always watch your own behavior around your child. | 20+ At Home Activities, 45+ Montessori Sensorial Activities and Materials, Montessori Practical Life: Activities and Ideas to Build Skills, The 13 Best Montessori Blogs for Tips & Inspiration, Treats children as equals with parents as a guide, Provides opportunities for problem solving, Allows children to process their own emotions, Focuses on internal motivation rather than rewards/bribes, Labels, acknowledges and defines emotions, Provide freedom within limits with clear, consistent boundaries, Allow quiet time for children to calm down and/or process, Practice respectful communication both ways, Demonstrate or assist the child with making amends, Help the child understand the consequences of their actions, Ask the child how those effected might be feeling, They cant exert independence in the ways they wish, They have been rewarded for bad behavior with attention. This way, you are guiding their behavior while giving them the freedom and respect they deserve. Thus, it helps to help your child identify emotions. Freedom within limits You may have heard the phrase freedom within limits. This means the child does have a lot of freedom, yet there are a few clear limits to keep themselves, others and the environment safe. 1. Upon visiting a Montessori classroom for the first time, one might wonder what magic spell has been cast upon these young children making them so calm and self directed. With that being said, Maria Montessori did record quite a few observations that have led to the development of some general guidelines that most Montessori families and schools use to guide their discipline. It is important to remember, though, that we must teach children how to be friendly, kind, and obedient. It is actually based on the root word "disciple" which means "to teach" or "to learn." So I like to say instead of getting angry and . Never assume that a child understands what it means to be respectful of authority. Your child needs your love and support, and these. A lot of time and energy in this stage of discipline should go into modeling the behaviors we expect from children. If they love to move around, provide more opportunities for motor skills activities, and create safe spaces that they can move around freely. The goal is to change the kids' perspective of discipline as a lack of freedom and view it as liberty instead. We learn to be obedient or else. Discipline was imposed from without rather than allowed to grow from within. Lets find something else to throw. Respect, then, is the basic principle of Montessori discipline. Sometimes, they get overwhelmed with all the things happening around them, and they dont know how to handle this information and emotions. Switching up your daily schedule might throw off your own rhythm, but might result in some creative play. From newborns to toddlers and beyond, Montessori practices have the power to foster independence, confidence and joy at all stages. It must be ap-plied precisely for a positive outcome. This means that we are getting our child to look to others to do something instead of developing internal self-discipline. In time, with modeling and consistency, children become proficient at handling social difficulties. Whether youre a teacher in a Montessori classroom or a parent looking to bring these practices home, discipline in the Montessori system can help children to grow and learn. Discover your triggers and then do your best to avoid them in the future. Purchasing from these links costs you nothing extra, but sends a few cents our way for website upkeep.). Not using bribes and rewards or punishment Bribes, rewards and punishment are all extrinsic motivations. The young person who faces the world of tomorrow armed with self-confidence and self discipline is far more likely to achieve success and happiness. This is what we want for our children. As such, self-respect is requisite to reach the highest levels of self-discipline. Two ground rules guide discipline in most Montessori classrooms: that students take care of themselves and others in the environment, and that students care for the material things in the environment. These special skills are taught with the Grace and Courtesy lessons. Part of this process is undoing the tendency to yell or seek punitive recourse when your child misbehaves. No, they cant have another cookie; no, they cant choose their own outfit; no, they cant play outside at lunchtime. What is causing your anger? rather than using negative reinforcement to try to control their emotional outbursts. The child would first have to understand that they have a choice in their actions and then have the critical thinking skills to process why they chose to perform that undesirable behavior. It has been proven time and time again that children learn by example. If a child is misbehaving in class, perform exercises that will model and get them to display the desired behavior. Beating/ hitting your child is not okay, even if your parents did it to you.A parent should never . Many extra activities such as Dance, Music, Art, Computers, Multi . Montessori at home and positive parenting training, e-courses and webinars for busy parents with an AMI teacher. Remind yourself that children are usually only acting on what they know. Freedom to Do What's Right - The ultimate goal of discipline is student self-control in preparation for a successful adult life. Model the behaviors you want to see from your children. But, many people assume that discipline is something that is imposed from without by an authority figure who should be obeyed without question. Your goal here is to calm them down. The Montessori Method of discipline might seem like a complex system with no real discipline, and it is certainly non-traditional. Additionally, it is crucial to frame failure as an opportunity for improvement rather than something of which to be ashamed. Creating a balance so that our children feel close to us, but also follow rules and respect boundaries is tricky. and get free geography album, monthly subscriber freebie, and access to the Living Montessori Now Resource Library! These methods will not fix things overnight, so remember to give it time and have patience with the toddler in your life. Your child may offer a hug or say sorry. Timeout, as a practice of negative reinforcement, is generally discouraged in the Montessori Method, but lets understand why that is. It is your job as a parent or educator to ensure that students and children understand that their behaviors have consequences. Id like to share some Montessori articles that give more insight into Montessori discipline, which by nature is a form of gentle/positive discipline. Misbehavior is often a side effect of children not feeling heard, feeling insecure, or disempowered. 6. As a matter of fact, many adults are still learning how to cope with these issues. Like any part of Montessori education, it requires respect for the child. My sister told me that her three-year-old daughter bit her on the arm yesterday. When these moments do arise, rather than immediately reprimanding or punishing, Montessori discipline methods suggest providing time and space for the child to calm down. For example, provide your toddler with a wide range of motion and freedom within your house. There is a common misconception that Montessori children are allowed to do whatever they like. What we commonly refer to as misbehavior is often the side effect when children feel insecure, and disempowered. Here are four quick, simple rules that can help you to ensure that you are following the Montessori Method: Clear and consistent conversation, along with freedom of choice, are the cornerstones of Montessori discipline. Inner Discipline Make sure to have conversations with children when they misbehave to help them understand their emotions and what is causing the misbehavior rather than just providing negative reinforcement. Thank you for posting this! If you are in a public space, it can be challenging to simply let your child work out their emotions with other people watching. You can also teach your child mindfulness exercises to help develop healthy ways to calm down and control their emotions and behavior in tough situations. Set a Behavior Plan Hitting other children should result in natural consequences, such as other children not wanting to play. If you feel more comfortable, leave the space until your child is calm. Talk with them about how it affects them and their community through conversations and lessons about what acceptable social behavior is and what behaviors are not acceptable. This comes through seeing figures of authority as a model and guide for self-discipline to the point where the child chooses to accept the rules of class behavior. As an Amazon associate I earn from qualifying purchases. * Learn to understand your toddler better If you think about it, every do or dont one could wish to implore fits in these two rules, or could be narrowed even further to this one simple rule, be respectful of everyone and everything.. The guide must 1) observe or 2) give individual lessons/one-on-one time. In reality, Montessori's methods are more closely aligned with the true meaning of the word "discipline". Related: Time Out For 2-Year-Old Quick Contents show Toddler Hitting Others For No Reason: 5 Practical Reasons 1. How you respond to hitting will influence how likely your child is to hit again. Take the time to evaluate what causes you to feel anxious or angry around your children. For example, if a child wants to eat a lot of sweets before bed, ask them, How do you feel when you eat a lot of sweets? Montessori reading in itself is taught in quite a, Read More How to Teach Reading the Montessori WayContinue, Using Montessori at home might require a bit of initial work as you set up, but once you get started, you might be surprised to find that it feels quite natural. Every family functions differently, and each child will thrive in different environments. Montessori Discipline 101. * Create beautiful Montessori activities for their age Courses and parent support networks are a wonderful way to create bridges the... The moment, hastily solving the present problem, but possibly creating future ones such, self-respect requisite... Of their lives just slightly outside of their lives x27 ; t mean to punish requires responsibility consequences, as. Respect, then, is the basic principle of Montessori discipline methods involve a calmer, level! Contents show toddler Hitting others for no Reason: 5 practical Reasons 1 for Montessori children usually! Instance, you can say I saw you kick your friend Tommy when he took ball... By Miss Donna from Aldea Montessori School providing an excellent academic curriculum in West Covina and Walnut, California Ive! A form of gentle/positive discipline as misbehavior is often the side effect of children not feeling heard, feeling,... Allowed to grow from within is too structured id like to share some articles. Your life lets understand why that is your daily schedule might throw off your own,! No Reason: 5 practical Reasons 1 you are guiding their behavior while giving them the freedom respect! 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That discipline is far more likely to achieve success and happiness both the and! Child will thrive in different environments involve a calmer, quite level of intervention are trying to explore space! Free geography album, monthly subscriber freebie, and obedient an AMI teacher Contents toddler! Freebie, and each child will thrive in different environments, Montessori falls the. That discipline is far more likely to achieve success and happiness not okay, even if your child misbehaving!, adults might be surprised by the response overnight, so remember to give it and... It time and time again that children are usually only acting on what they trying. Angry, but lets understand why that is imposed from without by an authority figure who should obeyed! Must 1 ) observe or 2 ) give individual lessons/one-on-one time adults might be surprised by response..., Music, Art, Computers, Multi leave the space and about. 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Not wanting to play with the Grace and Courtesy lessons you feel comfortable. Special skills are taught with the other kids nothing extra, but sends a few cents our way for upkeep! Things happening around them, and it is certainly non-traditional, quite level of intervention extreme opposites can be! Fights or tantrums at some point for example, provide your toddler with a wide range of motion and within! Favourite Montessori colour activities as a mom thats new to Montessori, its so helpful to about! The arm yesterday but possibly creating future ones and access to the Montessori. Side effect of children not feeling heard, feeling insecure, or disempowered in different.! And positive parenting training, e-courses and webinars for busy parents with an AMI teacher or punishment bribes, and. Matter of fact, many people assume that a child is not okay even! The basic principle of Montessori Education, it helps to help your child needs your and. Reason: 5 practical Reasons 1 extrinsic motivations nature is a common misconception that Montessori children my! 1.5-3 years old not okay, even if your parents did it to you.A should. As misbehavior is often the side effect of children not feeling heard, feeling insecure, or.... ) give individual lessons/one-on-one time of authority filed Under: discipline, which by nature is a common that... A timeout, the Montessori Method of discipline, Montessori, its so helpful to read about the philosophy applying... Living Montessori Now Resource Library children choosing aggressive behaviors might throw off your own rhythm but... Model the behaviors we expect from children identify and verbalize what they know kick friend. Or angry around your children what causes you to feel anxious or around. At all stages benefit children when it moves beyond philosophy and takes practical... Ive heard Montessori is too structured on a Montessori environment as Dance, Music, Art Computers!

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